Love Hurts - Can Your Present Lover be Your Later Enemy?
THE end of a relationship is no longer marked with just tears and recriminations, but with death threats, physical abuse and in extreme cases, suicides and violent murders. How is it that an emotion as sublime as love is trailed by a sentiment as vicious as hate? That's because love and hate are two sides of the same coin. Love witnesses a high intensity of emotions, and leaves you vulnerable enough to experience an equally high intensity of hatred. That comes to the fore when a relationship ends and an embittered partner wants to overpower the situation of the other person moving on. This leads to attention-seeking behaviour. Men generally harm their former partners, while women are more liable to inflict pain on themselves.
One wonders how cruelty and brutality can be meted out to someone who, till a while back, was being showered with love and affection. After all the end of a relationship doesn't mean the demise of feelings. Where does the sentiment of exacting vengeance from a former lover really stem from?
If sociologists are to be believed, the family background and a basic breakdown in the value system could be precursors to this phenomenon. In generaL family life is disturbed and insecure these days. Either the parents don't have time, or even if they do, they are unable to connect with their children. And if a child grows up witnessing domestic violence, then that's what he'll follow later.
Even the spirit of competition is overwhelming, as a result of which, people are constantly living on the edge. There's a nagging feeling of dissatisfaction with individuals coveting what they don't have. At present, we are an unstable society, which is through a lot of turbulence, what with new idols and new standards of behaviour... Over time, this contributes to pushing people over the edge, which may lead to these violent acts.
Social relationships are undergoing a massive change, with 'acquiring' a partner uppermost on youngsters' minds. And when losing that partner becomes an imminent threat, the response is brute force. Movies and advertisements also have a hand in influencing such crimes of passion. We are living in a violent society that not only propagates aggression, but also gives out feelers that the culprit can get away with minimum punishment.
The laws are so ineffective that people with a propensity for committing such crimes feel that they can get away. Of course, not every jilted man or heartbroken woman will become an acid-thrower or end one's life. Those with a paranoid or borderline personality perpetrate these violent acts, which are generally crimes of passion. They love themselves more than anyone else. For them, their ego is all important. Narcissists in nature, they cannot see beyond themselves and self-gratification becomes their raison d'etre. Such people cannot tolerate or handle failure. They have to register their protest in a situation that they deem is unfair to them and they do so in a violent manner.
Romantic notions of happily-ever-after, unrealistic expectations from relationships and a basic abhorrence of just letting time be the best healer, mar the lives of young people who resort to sordid measures after the end of a relationship. For them, love turns into hate in a matter of seconds...
To get expert advice on how to deal with abusive relationship and tips to avoid bad breakup, visit Love-Lectures.com.
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