Marriage and Love
For all we know, there's no one can get married without love in 21st century. (Unless you have some other purposes). Surely, without love, a marriage relationship would be colorless and tasteless. Ask yourself, will you marry a man/woman without love?
We all have our own concept of love. Love might mean different things to different people. To some love is care, to some it is concern and to some others it is compassion and so on. Whatever ideas one might have about love, you will agree that to be able to love someone we should be able to devote our energy and time to those we love. It is more so in a marriage. In a marriage relationship, love is solace, kindness, tenderness and so many other nice feelings.
It is hard to imagine that a marriage without love. Needless to say, without love, a marriage relationship would be meaningless and purposeless. You wouldn't know what your life is all about and whom you are living for, to marry a person without love. If you want to develop a capability to love, the first step is to learn how to love yourself.
You may wonder how self-love helps your marriage. If you try yourself hard to love yourself and your other half, your attitudes and approach will be changed as well. Some certain abilities involved in the love will be extended to your spouse: you will understand the way he feels and what he needs, you will express yourself bravely without reservation, you will listen to him patiently without giving any judgment to interrupt him while he talks, you will take it as a good opportunity to improve yourself whenever he makes a criticism, you will let him to do anything he wants as long as it won't harm your relationship.
When you are capable of showing the above qualities, a sense of deep intimacy is achieved between you and your husband. You might have conflicts, because no two people can live without differences. But these qualities will make both of you deal with conflicts in positive ways. You would handle your conflicts in a healthy way where you do not forego your own needs. This kind of freedom will build a stronger bond between the two of you. In fact conflicts make your relationship stronger than breaking it.
To love your spouse in good manners, you should do the following that helps to build your capability to love your spouse:
1. Treat your spouse like the way you treat yourself.
2.Allow him to hold his own point of view which is different than yours.
3. Be compassionate to your partner.
4.Respect each other.
5.In spite of differences of opinion just learn to agree to disagree.
6.Respect his privacy.
7.Don't try to fight back in case he disagrees.
8.Do not be demand for his attention or love. This is hard because his love and attention means a lot to you. But love never comes on demand. Instead, be patient and loving and you will be returned with love.
9.Sometimes, you may do something for him just because you love him. This is good because it adds up strength to your bonding.
Marriage is one knot that teaches the two of you to develop a mature, loving and self-less relationship. So try to increase your capability to love him/her. You make him/her a better person and you also become better yourself in the process.
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