Is Marriage the Reason behind Divorce?
Marriage ? Is it a Step towards Divorce?
When two people are attracted towards each other and fall in love, everything looks perfect. However, the couple still do not want to risk the chance of a divorce since it involves a lot of money and time. So, they first cohabitate and find out the compatibility between them. Still everything seems wonderful. Only when people are convinced that the other partner is the right person for them and that nothing could go wrong between them, they get married.
Initially, everything seems perfect, but a few months down the line difference of opinion starts to show. Then it grows into arguments, developing into fights and finally leading to divorce. Since these problems originated only after the marriage, people tend to blame marriage for all these consequences.
The Real Cause of Divorce
Studies indicate that there is a higher probability of relationship break-ups in cohabitating couple compared to their married counterparts. Marriage is not the reason for a divorce. It is rather due to the absence of being prepared to face the reality and the responsibilities in a marriage. Some of the reasons why differences start to show only after a marriage are as follows:
? During the days of courtship, the attraction between the couple makes them ignore each others? shortcomings. With time, when the attraction starts to wane, the differences begin to dominate.
? When the couple were in love they did not want to ruin the little time they spent together fighting over the differences. However, on marriage, they fear that if the differences are not sorted out, they might have to spend their entire life compromising their interests. This makes them argue about things that had not bothered them earlier.
? They are not ready to face the monetary commitments in a marriage and the financial stress leads to break-ups.
Keeping the Marriage Going
In order to understand the factors that make a relationship successful, we need to first analyse the reasons that cause a break-up. In the UK, the main reasons for divorce are adultery, family stress and abuse. Decline of interest in sex and communication issues are also responsible for break-ups in a small way. So, in order to make your marriage work, all these problems need to be addressed even before they surface. With adultery topping the list of reasons, the couple need to be loyal to each other. Even before marriage, they need to make sure they are prepared to handle the responsibilities in the family. Otherwise this could lead to stress, fight and break-ups.
Some people might have been through a rough phase during their childhood making them abusive towards their spouse physically or mentally. They can attend counselling sessions to get psychological assistance to overcome these problems. Although love can help keep the relationship going, it is also necessary to make it interesting. Identify the common interests and talk about it. Continue to go out on dates and have fun like you used to in your courting days. Do not allow your sexual interests to die down. Be creative and involved with each other. Come up with innovative ideas that add interest to your married life. If not, things might start getting monotonous and both of you might end up losing interest which could eventually lead to divorce.
If you have been pondering over the idea of a divorce-free world, the answer is a ?YES?. First, by stopping the practice of marriage, divorce would automatically stop and, second, by having laws to ban divorce in the country, as in the case of Philippines. Can this solve all the marital problems? By abolishing marriages would all the couple start living cheerfully without any arguments or by forcefully banning a divorce can the couple lead a happy life together? No, it is up to the couple to either give up or sail through diversities and make their marriage a success.
James Walsh is a freelance writer and copy editor. For more information on how to initiate Divorce proceedings see http://www.managed-divorce.co.uk
About the Author
Rating: Not yet rated