E-mails in Online Dating: Seven Tips
You both winked and he wrote an e-mail saying "What's up?" so now what do you do? You can do more than one thing, but whatever you do, don't write back "What's up with you?"
This is a list of the seven things you should avoid or be sure to do in your e-mails.
Get the conversation going. Make it happen, take the initiative. Passivity never pays in life so if you're interested, so send an e-mail that says "Tell me about the boldest thing you've done. I am interested in knowing you. I'll tell you mine when I get your response."
Ask questions. Lots of them. Dating someone who talks too much about him or herself can be a huge turnoff. Wait to be asked questions before you go into the "About Me" speech. He saw your profile so he already knows a little bit about you. If you ask your date why he lived in Japan or why David Sedaris is his favorite author, chances are he'll be psyched that you're asking.
Don't keep him guessing about you for too long. If you wait too long to return an e-mail you might lose your intrigue and he may look for his next match. Write him back within a few days to tell him about the boldest thing you've done. It's only fair since he told you his.
Avoid the e-mail love affair. Many people give good e-mail. It's exciting to log into your e-mail account and find three new e-mails from this new, interesting guy. But what happens when you fall for the e-mail version of him, but meet the real him and have zero attraction? I suggest meeting him after the first five or so e-mails. You'll be bummed to lose an e-mail lover you've grown attached to.
Avoid copying and pasting. My friend sent the same e-mail to all of her matches. Once she sent the same e-mail to someone twice AND she forgot to change the name at the top. She obviously didn't hear from him again. It may be tempting, but it's too easy to make mistakes.
Don't write too much. Some men complain that women talk too much and I know from experience that some guys are freaked out by a "chatty Patty." I've seen studies proving that men do, in fact, talk more than women, but I would wait to write a long e-mail until he does, just in case. Keep your e-mails to two short paragraphs until he writes a long e-mail. Once he does, then you'll know he has patience for some chat.
Send an e-mail after the first date. I think it's nice to get a follow up e-mail even if I'm not interested. It's a polite thing to do.
About the Author: Sara Musfeldt operates a blog with dating stories and dating profile tips for everyone. Sara has also produced an online dating advice to help single people everywhere find love.
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