Using Your Attention to Be Happy
We experience two possibilities in every moment. We can focus all of our attention, curiosity and passion focused on what is happening. Or we can have that same curiosity, attention, and passion focused on what is not happening, or what we think should or be happening.
When our focus is on what is, our experience opens up and becomes bigger, richer, and more complete. But when we focus on what is not (including the past, the future, or any thought about what should be), our experience of the moment contracts down and becomes much narrower and full of struggle and suffering, because inherent in our focus on what is not is the tendency to struggle with what is.
Most of the time we are opposed to what is and focused on what is not. Our life is often about how to make things better and more pleasureable, or how reduce things that are painful. We like to constantly evaluate our experience, by looking to see what's wrong and how it could be improved. We tend focus on what's wrong or on what could be changed to it to make it better. Therefore, our attention narrows and our awareness becomes very limited.
When we see how much effort we spend struggling with what is, the tendency is to struggle with that-to try to change that. We decide the solution is to change our tendency to try to change everything. But that is only more struggle: except now we are struggling with our tendency to try to struggle. In a sense, we suffer over the fact that we are suffering.
The other possibility is to just notice how much you suffer, without trying to do anything about it. Just allow the fact that you don't allow much. Just recognize that that is the way it is. This struggling with what is, is just what we were conditioned to do; and this conditioning is also a part of what is.
Once we take a break form being in opposition to what is, it becomes possible to see how our struggling comes from the idea of a "me". Without the basic assumption that something is happening in "my" experience, there is no point in trying to change anything. Our struggle and effort to change what is makes sense only if there is a me. It is in service to maintaining the idea or image of a me. In fact, the struggle is what makes up the me. When the struggle stops, there is no me. All of our suffering is the means by which we maintain an identity.
Once again, there is a tendency is to try to fix this by changing our beliefs about our identiy. We try to get rid of identification, which is another way of focusing on what is not. Yet, we are then still suffering because now we are struggling with our tendency to identify. Instead of accepting of what is, we are looking toward how it should be: I ought to know better; I should already know who I am.
Another possibility is always available: to simply be present to everything including the tendency to identify, without trying in any way to change anything. If something is happening, then that's what is.Let it be just the way it is. it is all amazing, even the fact that there seems to be a "me". You may see how ultimately unreal this "me" is, but that does not mean there is any need to struggle with it. Why assume that ther is anything wrong that needs to be fixed? Without any effort or struggle, this moment is enough to enjoy. What a gift to be here!
When it is finally okay for the moment to be just the way it is-including the fact that we identify as me and therefore battle with the moment-then more of our experience can be recognized and included in our awareness. If we are willing to be present to and allow our identification, then it is also possible to notice something beyond identification, something beyond our struggle and effort to maintain a me. What that something is, for lack of a better word, is Being.
So along with the struggle and suffering inherent in identification, is a much larger ground of Being in which everything is allowed. Our identity is just a thought or idea, but there is no need to judge or turn away from that idea. In addition to the struggling inherent in our identification, there is also present a profoundly rich ocean of Being, which is allows everything, including the "me". The struggle is only a tiny bit of our entire experience and even this struggle is allowed in the limitless presence of Being.
We can sometimes even notice what it is that is allowing It is Being that allows and that is what we truly are. This realization can be a very surprising jolt or a very simple sense of waking up to something very familiar. It is Being that has always allowed even when it seemed like you were doing it.
Paradoxically, what can open our eyes to the larger reality of Being is realizing how much we actually enjoy identifying. Once we completlely allow everything, it is easier to admit that identifying as a "me" has been fun. The appearance of a separate self is a creative act. It makes up the story of our lives, and these stories inspire many to create great literature and art. We may suffer from our identity, but we also love it. The "me" is not a mistake. It's as natural as everything else in this world. But there is also the even richer possibility of no longer taking the me to be the totality of who we are. Why limit ourselves to a small identity, when the much larger Being of our true nature is always here. In that there is no suffering.
Internationally regarded spiritual teacher, Nirmala has offered Satsang and one-to-one Spiritual Mentoring since 1998. He offers free spiritual books and many more ways to experience his teaching on endless-satsang.com.
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